Somehow, I have no clue how I take a break from my creativity – I was suppose to have a 2 week vacation, but I still managed to write poems and get ideas for a new sound poetry installation, that I hope will be accepted – somewhere – and do some fun projects on the side.
But seriously, I need to rest and take a break, but my mind keeps working like my sorrow keeps feeding my ideas. Maybe it is a short period and as soon as I am less sad, all my lovely ideas will vanish into thin air and I will be on vacation for ever – or maybe it is just a technique I need to master – letting go of ideas, stop fearing new ones will never come. Maybe it is because, I for so long tried to be there for others, and as these others one by one betrayed me – I finally learned, that I cannot live my life for others. Maybe it is because, that people whom I thought would support me, in reality suppressed me, telling me directly or indirectly, that I was no good. Maybe it is because I can only be alone while doing this – alone and a bit lost.
Well, to keep a long sad story short and merry – I am still working and very exiting projects are coming up and very exiting creative partnerships – so far one installation, 1 film and a couple of readings are prepared – but hey, the autum hasn’t even started yet, so I am sure other things will come up.